Dr. Ben Sobel: "The great gift of Easter is hope.". Bad idea: finding the Easter eggs on Christmas. Jack Handey, 56. "That is one good . Hey, what do you expect? "F*** you! Unknown, 18. I still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and true love. 1. Hey dad. Theyre sure to make you think, reflect and, in some cases, chuckle! Dr. Ben Sobel: But if I can't get it up, that makes me less of a man, and I can't have that. Here are 15 quotes from general conferences that fell on Easter weekend: President Henry B. Eyring, then first counselor in the First Presidency, speaks during the general priesthood session of the 180th Annual General Conference in Salt Lake City on April 3, 2010. As the holiest day in the Christian calendar nears, here are some quotes about the death of Jesus Christ, the Resurrection and the glory of Easter. Signed, the Dead Guy.". Since 2000, four April general conferences have been held over Easter weekend, in 2010, 2015, 2018 and 2021. So he walked to the table Boss Paul Vitti: Never yet was a springtime, when the buds forget to bloom. - Margaret Elizabeth Sangster, 55. You brought it up. 2. Dr. Ben Sobel: Dr. Ben Sobel: Call the Vatican. ", [Vitti is trying to forgive Primo for attempting to whack him.]. Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, people get depressed, they jump. - Robert Flatt, 64. Boss Paul Vitti: There's your f***in' pillow. Dad was so mad at me, I couldn't say anything. Each member of the current First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has spoken during at least one of these conferences. "Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket." - Evan Esar 2. Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again." -Luke 24. [to the "Captain"] I still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and true love. "Nature gives to every time and season some beauties of its own. | You did fucking NOTHING for me! [Whispering] You know what Im doing for Easter? [Vitti pulls out a gun and empties the magazine into a pillow]. That would be great except for one detail. All rights reserved. [narrating] Spring is in the air, which means Easter is just around the corner. Blessings Of Easter 2023. quotes; easter; holiday; easter quotes; RoseKiss. When we confront lifes wind and rainstorms, sickness and injuries, the Lord our Shepherd, our Caregiver will nourish us with love and kindness. Boss Paul Vitti: Well, I hear it all the time, only it's more like "no, please, no!". See if something is missing. De Niro's definitely a hoot as the ever milder menace, and Crystal actually concentrates on giving a credible performance opposite the acting legend (alas, he doesn't turn his character's fear of his patient into inspired comedy, as Alan Arkin did in Grosse Pointe Blank). Trivia "'Twas Easter-Sunday. Spring will come and so will happiness. A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. You've got to change with the times. Primo: We were old sinners but when we came to Christ we are not sinners anymore. Joel Osteen, 44. Dr. Ben Sobel: To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.- Audrey Hepburn, 93. GET A FUCKIN' LIFE! Jelly: You should get more roughage in your diet, Doc. That means, it is the only. Its a second chance. Reba McEntire, I am going to try and pay attention to the spring. Boss Paul Vitti: I go fag, you die. "- Neltje Blanchan, 84. Christ has not only spoken to us by his life but has also spoken for us by his death. Soren Kierkegaard, 29. But He chose to do so because of His love for us and for Heavenly Father. Dr. Ben Sobel: Boss Paul Vitti: Carl Knudsen, 23. If youre looking for more uplifting words, read these hope quotestoo. Ah fuck Freud. I'm a psychiatrist. How about Tommy the Tongue, or Louie the lip? That got away from me at the end there. Boss Paul Vitti: Theres nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. Linda Grayson, 69. I love spring anywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden. - Ruth Stout, 60. Boss Paul Vitti: Well, maybe not to you, look at you. Dont even try to tell me different.- Dolly Parton, 12. FBI Agent Ricci: Im gonna be hanging with my Peeps. Jay Leno, 47. Boss Paul Vitti: Michael Sobel: Boss Paul Vitti: Nah, you start with the pills, the next thing you know you're putting in hydraulics. Hold on. The Resurrection Sunday for Christians is this: that Christ in the dying moments on the cross gives us the greatest illustration of forgiveness possible. T.D. He will heal our hearts and restore our souls., Elder Dale G. Renlund: I declare with all my aching heart that Jesus Christ both understands unfairness and has the power to provide a remedy. In the warmth of His love, may your life always shine brightly. Dr. Ben Sobel: Raise your joys and triumphs high; sing, ye heavens and earth reply." "Let everything you do be done in love." "To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow." "Let the resurrection joy lift us from . 100 Easter Quotes 1. Jelly: Dad, you're not coming to my wedding? Easter is one of my favorite holidays with the kids. Carlo Mangano: [to Patient/wife] For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the literal Resurrection of Jesus Christ is a pillar of our faith., Elder Gerrit W. Gong: This is Easter Sunday. I'll f***in' bury you! Without it, our faith is meaningless. Joseph B. Wirthlin, 19. hopefully you make one more move on me you motherfucker I'll fuckin' cut your fuckin' balls off I'll shove them up your fuckin' ass, I'll fuckin' bury you, I'll put fuckin . Spring adds new life and new joy to all that is.- Jessica Harrelson, 6. As far as human work, intelligence and experiments have found out, earth is the only planet with life. Religious Easter Quotes Easter Quotes And Sayings Cute Easter Quotes Famous Quotes Easter Happy Easter Quotes Sayings Good Friday Quotes Weekend Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein . Let him catch the revelation of Jesus in his resurrection. I don't think so. We've got you covered from fun-filled family getaways to where you can shop for a few delicious Easter treats. Imagine you want to wish your friends and loved ones a happy Easter, but you're not sure how to say it. Egg hunts are proof that your children can find things when they really want to. Unknown, 38. Boss Paul Vitti: Luke 23:43, "I confess with my mouth and believe in my heart, / that You raised Jesus Christ, and He entered my life; / Ive got to tell everybody, / Ive got to tell everybody, / I'm so glad Im saved." Love makes all things easy.- Dwight L. Moody, 17. Dr. Ben Sobel: They threw me in the shark tank, Paul! Michael Sobel: Dad has a patient who thinks he shits trout. That one's mine. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16, 77. "You can cut all the flowers . Ben Sobellioni. Smoke some joints! I still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and true love. Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it wont stay there. Clarence W. Hall, 8. In my world I deal with animals, Doctor. [taking out a pen] Primo: What thing? Dr. Ben Sobel: Don't kid yourself, Jelly, it doesn't get more personal. Your house is clean, the fridge is stocked, and the family group chat is more active than usual. Believe me, I get it. Bloom where you are planted.- 1 Corinthians 7:20-24, 80. They get to run loose, and we always have our family and loved ones all around us! Camila Alves, 80. You have to go. VaShawn Mitchell, He Got Up, "What do the dear little flowers say? "- Charles Dickens, 81. 80 Best Easter Quotes to Remind You of the Holiday's True Meaning. "Easter. With the coming of spring, I am calm again. Gustav Mahler, 42. What, am I supposed to get a fuckin' website? Im so excited for spring I think I wet my plants. - Unknown, 100. It's so cool. I am sealing the vent in your room. Boss Paul Vitti: You cannot listen to my sessions. | Nothing compares to the unfairness He endured. "But from this earth, this grave, this dust, my God shall raise me up, I trust." Dr. Ben Sobel: When I got into family therapy, this was not the "family" I had in mind. All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! Charles M. Schulz, 45. What was your father eating? Sending all our love to family, friends and loved one who are at peace in heaven this Easter. "Oh, Steve doesn't like me!" Whatever it is, to get off on each other and be happy. Here is the amazing thing about Easter. Conference was held the weekend of Palm Sunday the Sunday before Easter that commemorates Jesus Christs triumphal entry into Jerusalem. How do you do that one? What a pig. Steve Carell, 44. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. Rainer Maria Rilke, That He should extend His great love unto such as I / Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify / Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me / Enough to die for me Charles H. Gabriel, I Stand All Amazed, In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. Margaret Atwood, "Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime. Martin Luther, Watchwords for the Warfare of Life, Do not abandon yourselves to despair. Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe filled with slush. Doug Larson, 59. I saw you for five minutes! Jelly: / Whose words alone can catch a falling star? Boss Paul Vitti: What, am I supposed to get a f***in' website? Dr. Isaac Sobel: A true friend is someone who thinks youre a good egg, even if youre cracked. Bernard Meltzer, 39. I hit a pillow. Looked too good for a busboy. You don't know what? I don't even get the paper. I hit a pillow. As we get ready to count our Easter blessings, you might be looking for Happy Easter quotes that remind you of the reason for the season. I am going to close my eyes, and listen. - Anne Lamott, 69. I can't work miracles, Mr. Viti! Cummings, Who Knows If the Moons, "Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. Dr. Ben Sobel: I'm a psychiatrist. The conclusion devolves into the requisite gunplay, and Chazz Palminteri and Lisa Kudrow are criminally wasted as an opposing mob boss and Crystal's fiance, respectively, but overall, it's breezy fun. Is the Easter Bunny a space alien trying to trick us into implanting us with his eggs? Whoever did that thing to you-know-who, that good friend of mine? My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. Amy Sedaris, 74. When Paul is ready to manage his crime family affairs, suddenly he suffers from respiratory problems and everyone is worried. Dr. Ben Sobel: I have to say, not being able to perform three or four times Dr. Ben Sobel: eight times, is not catastrophic. And did you see the guys coming? Dr. Ben Sobel: Spring is the time of plans and projects. Leo Tolstoy, 11. Kevin DeYoung, 85. Spring is natures way of saying Lets party!- Robin Williams, 52. All right, all right, take a pill robo-cop, take a pill. Primo: I'd like to see a movie, but it's nothing but this shoot-em-up action bullshit. Michael Sobel: Was that really Paul Vitti? I should've said something. If he doesn't make that meeting they'll kill him for sure. Easter is the only time when its perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket. Evan Esar, 42. For what, so you can go back and listen to housewives piss and moan about how nobody fucks 'em right anymore? This Easter, let us care for each other through the bright and the dark times. AMC stock is up by over 30% year-to-date. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. Pope John Paul II, 34. Intraday data delayed at least 15 minutes or per exchange . Dr. Ben Sobel: I'm a fuckin' moron. Did you talk to the guy? Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother. Boss Paul Vitti: Dr. Ben Sobel: Gordon, Day Dawn A Quiet Talk on Easter, Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal and new life. Janine di Giovanni, Far from this foreign Easter damp and chilly / My soul steals to a pear-shaped plot of ground, / Where gleamed the lilac-tinted Easter lily / Soft-scented in the air for yards around. Are you having marriage problems? Somehow, though, De Niro walks away with most of the laughs in Analyze This, a buddy action-comedy about a mob boss (De Niro, natch) suffering from panic attacks who makes a nebbishy shrink (Crystal, natch) an offer he can't refuse--actually, it's not really an offer, it's a command. Resurrection is a daily celebration over fear; mans greatest and most powerful enemy. author unknown, Easter Morning Prayer, Always / its / spring / and everyones / in love and flowers pick themselves. E.E. Our Saviors Atonement made eternal life a possibility and immortality a reality for all., President Dallin H. Oaks: Today we join other Christians in celebrating the Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. "Life is bullshit, I can't fucking take it no more! Whatever you did the other day didn't take! Spread the joy of this fun-filled holiday by sharing some inspirational or funny Easter quotes with your favorite bunnies. Boss Paul Vitti: Contents 1 Dr. Ben Sobel 2 Dialogue [while Paul is holding a gun to the back of his head] They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in, they didnt find the body of the Lord Jesus. Luke 24:23, 49. I mean, come on, look at the two of you! Analyze This is a 1999 film released by Warner Bros. Pictures. The night your father was killed, what were you eating? The Easter Bunny ate all of the carrots that we left for him. Boss Paul Vitti: No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. After what you just told me, you know, I'm afraid to call my own mother on the phone! 1957 was a big year. Cummings, 72. That's it! Doc, if you gotta talk, try to be vague. For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice Freeman Palmer, 32. But I was real conflicted about it. When I got into family therapy, this was not the "family" I had in mind. I was Fredo? You did f***ing NOTHING for me! Boss Paul Vitti: "Okay, Paul, I'll help you." Good idea: finding the Easter eggs on Easter. Wishing you a wonderful spring and . And then what happened? Anger is a blocked wish. Today on this Easter morning we rejoice in all the Savior has done for us. It's time to celebrate His greatest miracle of all. Dr. Ben Sobel: What better way to celebrate than to spend a few hours going on the journey of Christ's life." Oh, so you're telling me it was suicide? John P. Kee, Saved, "Easter is the only time when its perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket." Boss Paul Vitti: What? Including the second thing. Wishing you a blessed and holy Easter! [shoots back] Dad has a patient who thinks he shits trout. My mother just started screaming Boss Paul Vitti: Oh, shit! The Church News is an official publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm done. "The great gift of Easter is hope." - Basil C. Hume 3. How about the other thing? JOKES LAUGHS AND QUOTES..KEEP SMILING. Dr. Ben Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend? I don't remember. May we prepare for His coming by rehearsing these glorious events over and over in our own minds and with those we love, and may His prayer be our prayer: Thy kingdom come. Got it? You get a dictionary and find out what this "closure" is. You gotta nip that shit right in the bud. From beloved blessings to popular Easter songs, our catalog of quotes runs deep so you can simply pick the one that's right for you and the recipient. And you were mad at him. Without it, our faith is meaningless." This is the time to be happy! The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. Kate McGahan, 9. You were mad, but you didn't kill him. Soundtracks, Ben rushes up to Paul's room after Jelly throws a hit man off the balcony onto the wedding party, Vitti pulls out a gun and empties the magazine into a pillow, when two hit men attack Paul and Ben in a junkyard, Ben grabs Paul's gun and blindly shoots back - he straightens up and sees two dead men, telling Ben about a dream after Jelly promises not to listen, Sobel, back in his chair, snaps out of a daze, Patient/wife, turning to look at husband and smiling at each other, Ben Sobel is in a bathroom stall of Paul Vitti's favorite restaurant trying to remove an FBI wire from his chest with Jelly standing outside. "- Jen Selinsky, 83. Happy Easter Weekend. [when two hit men attack Paul and Ben in a junkyard, Ben grabs Paul's gun and blindly shoots back - he straightens up and sees two dead men]. I'm still f***ed up! Boss Paul Vitti: It's the life he chose. Twas Easter Sunday. 100 Happy Easter Wishes, Greetings and Messages 1. Jacqueline Easter Contact Information. That's very good, here's you, Boss Paul Vitti: General conference falls on the weekend of the first Sunday in April. Dr. Ben Sobel: Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, that's something I never thought I'd hear another man say to me. Primo: Dr. Ben Sobel: Hey, how can we bring up the first thing if we're not gonna talk about the second thing. His acquiescence to the will of His Father won the supernal victory over death and is the transcendent event in the history of mankind. "Christ the Lord is risen today, sons of men and angels say. No, I think they use the men's room next to the Burger King. You go. "The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul." Victor Hugo. Dr. Ben Sobel: All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.- Unknown, 79. "Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.". Gordon, 3. Hold on. Dr. Ben Sobel: What a pig. Steve Carell, 65. "Easter is the one . Hey, they were trying to make a point. You understand me? The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day He created spring. - Bernard Williams, 26. "Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal and new life." Janine di Giovanni. Do you understand me?! Boss Paul Vitti: I was Fredo? Easter is very important to me. I am going to look around at all the flowers, and look up at the hectic trees. Primo: Caroline: I'm also known as, uh, Benny the Groin, Sammy the Schnazz, Elmer the Fudd, Tubby the Tuba, and once as Miss Phyllis Levine. Dr. Ben Sobel: ' John 11:25, 35. Well, that's something I never thought I'd hear another man say to me. They're trying to do that to me now, and I'm having a lot of feelings about that, and I'm trying to get some some Boss Paul Vitti: I'm feeling very angry about that, I'm really- I'm enraged. Boss Paul Vitti: Dr. Ben Sobel: a blocked wish. President M. Russell Ballard: Despite the challenges we face in life, we can, like on that first Easter morning, awake to a new life in Christ, with new and marvelous possibilities and new realities as we turn to the Lord for hope and belonging., Elder Ronald A. Rasband: The Lord performs miracles to remind us of His power, His love for us, His reach from the heavens to our mortal experience, and His desire to teach of that which is of most worth., Elder Gary E. Stevenson: On this holy Easter weekend, I find abiding peace in knowing that the Lord is my shepherd (Psalm 23:1) and that each of us is known by Him and under His kind watch care. Boss Paul Vitti: Drink some wine! Dr. Ben Sobel: You know normally a patient wouldn't have a vat of Scotch during a session. I reverently witness and solemnly testify of the living Christ He who died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven. He is Alpha and Omega with us in the beginning, He is with us to the end., Elder Ulisses Soares: On this Easter day I solemnly testify that Jesus Christ is risen, He lives, and He directs His Church on earth through His prophets, seers and revelators. I love Him; I adore Him. Boss Paul Vitti: Don't that prove I'm motivated? Boss Paul Vitti: These uplifting quotes will do the trick. Can words describe the fragrance of the very breath of spring? Neltje Blanchan, 73. Of course sexually! Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. S.D. [Sobel, back in his chair, snaps out of a daze]. "Let everything you do be done in love."- 1 Corinthians 16:14 2. Nobody helps Paul Viti!". Christ the Lord is risen today, sons of men and angels say. There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter.- Gordon B. Hinckley, 21. Find out what this "closure" thing is. Dr. Ben Sobel: Pope Francis, 13. Yeah. Dr. Sobel, Mam. Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. Virgil A. Kraft, 17. Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-b*tch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! "- Edgar Guest, 82. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II, 29. Believe me, I can be vague. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven. Rick Warren, 20. Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife? [In his office, Primo looks at one of his men]. Uh no, but they will in a minute. quotes; easter; good morning; easter quotes; timboss. I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun not because I can see it, but by it, I can see everything else. C.S. Dr. Ben Sobel: The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan, 25. Easter is the one morning in all of history where the dawn came twice; once on the eastern horizon and again in eternity. Craig D. Lounsbrough, 7. Dr. Ben Sobel: I don't even get the paper. "Therefore, if anyone is in. "Easter is a time to rejoice, be thankful, be assured that all is forgiven, so life extends beyond the soil of the earth.". The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created spring. Bernard Williams, 28. Gordon, 20. I believe in Christ like I believe in the sunnot because I can see it, but by it, I can see everything else. C.S. What the f***'s the matter with you? Dawn and resurrection are synonymous. You are a tragedy queen [mocks whining voice] "Steve doesn't like me. Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M. Crowe, 15. [crashes] . The Easter Bunny ate all of the carrots that we left for him.